The Great Dietary Shift of 2013

It all started with the sudden onset of weird not really itchy hives at the end of the day, toward the end of November of 2012. They would get progressively worse as time went on – the totally worthless dermatologist tried to give me medicine for my rosacea and then recited a portion on the WebMD entry on idiopathic hives; while looking at the wall behind me and told me to take lots of Benadryl. Oh and a number for a guy that could do the full workup of allergy testing. So, I stopped using my favorite perfume and lotion (Twirl, my new signature cent) because I had started really wearing that at this time.  I was a splotchy mess at my brother’s wedding, on the bright side – I matched my dress!! 

Then one day in May while eating my yummy lunch of tuna and red bell pepper – I EXPLODED in hives within 20 minutes of finishing my meal. I was not very happy about it, but I cut the nightshades from my diet and almost immediately the damn hives were much less.  This is a serious blow to my cooking because I used tomatoes in some form in almost every day (which, now that I look back, DUR!).  Chili’s and salsas are out. My favorite treat: French Fries are out. A totally serious bummer, y’all, I got totally depressed.  I would stand in my kitchen and almost cry because everything I wanted to make had nightshades in it and I had to figure out how to alter it to remove nightshades. We ate a lot of curry till I started getting my bearings. 

I also started drinking way too much – what had been a glass of wine at dinner was morphing into 2 or 3 glasses.  It had more to do with some sort of sixteen year old logic of if I can’t do X then I’ll do Y, so there neener neener. Totally useful. 

I am very aware of my body, where I had put on some weight in muscle; I had also been putting on quite a bit of fat from all the wine. My belly was starting to flop over by pants, not so sexy feeling. Which brings us to: Starting last Sunday (so just over a week ago) I cut sugar and alcohol completely from my diet for 30 days. I’m calling it my Whole-ish 30 because I am still eating some sugar in the form of fruits (because otherwise they would go bad and I can’t bring myself to waste money like that).  I am happy to report in my first week I have lost 7 pounds, and the flopping belly is much less.  This is my 3^rd challenge of this sort; I have found that periodically I need to do these to keep myself in line, those cheat meals have a habit of getting out of hand.  (I do these outside of my Crossfit box and their Paleo Challenges because 1) I have already “won” a challenge and 2) I am very unhappy with some of the politics going on at my gym at the moment.)

I can almost guarantee that the wine is also a huge factor in the hives; because it has always been a trigger for the rosacea flairs. I am also happy that I have been able to wear my perfume and lotion again, because they were clearly not a cause of the hives. WHOOT!  I also seem to have acquired a great love of sparkling mineral water, which would have nothing to do with using my pretty glasses for my bubbly drinks (usually mixed with lime/lemon or pomegranate juice).

Let’s see what this week brings – PMS and the sugar cravings that go with it (as well as the bloating, blargh).

Ten Years

Remarkably the bulk of 9/11 is seared into memory. I don’t know why… I can barely remember my wedding… it’s just a blur of fantastic and I can only remember about 3 distinct things about when I had Freya. I can tell you that I don’t ever want to see the images of the Towers burning, the smoke, the gut wrenching knowledge that they fell. Looking out my window now I see a sky that is so much like the one that day that bright late summer blue with white fluffy clouds.


I was at work; it started like it was like any other work day, I was in the office by 7:30 and we had an off-site staff meeting that day. I remember I was wearing pale khaki dress pants, a lace cami, a men’s white dress shirt and brown boots. Anyway, the meeting started at 8 ended it earlier than they had intended and as we emerged from the conference room there was a pile of people around a small television showing the images of the Towers on fire. I really had to use the loo, and made some sort of flip remark as I passed the television - I hadn’t really seen what had happened at that point and never in a million years would I have thought that those buildings would fall. I had been a part of a carpool to the meeting, and the guy that had driven had a big van that had a little television in it (this was before headrest telly’s). We were watching the news on the way back to the office; the first Tower fell just as we were pulling onto the highway. The girl sitting beside me was hysterical, her brother worked in one of the Towers and she couldn’t get through to him. I don’t remember getting back to my desk; we were told that if we needed to we could leave for the day. I stayed… I didn’t have a computer at home and I was trying to figure out (like everyone else) what the hell was going on. I sort of wandered from my desk to my coworkers desks, nothing but the bare minimum got done that day. Several of us went to donate blood, but the line was so long that we decided to come back later.

I left a little early – around 3 and then went to the gym to try and get a workout in. I wouldn’t call what I did a workout, but I got some sweating done while listening to NPR. And let me tell you using the old skool walkman radio while trying to run on the treadmill is not a good combination – the reception was really bad. So I packed it in after about half an hour and went home.

I don’t remember anything else clearly until the sun had set and we were watching television and ALL the stations had switched to their local news. MTV was broadcasting their local NYC news and that freaked me out the most for some reason. Husband was saying that it was most likely Osama bin Ladin as it was too well organized not to have a very serious group behind it. I remember thinking that the world was going to end in fire. I do not remember eating that day. I do remember that I took out a fifth of bourbon that night; I needed to be as physically numb as I was emotionally numb. I did not cry, and I can usually cry at a cat food commercials.

The next day was sort of weird… there was an odd quiet while people were regrouping. I don’t remember the rest of the week at all, I had off from work that Friday and was wearing the only red white and blue I owned, and watched the service held at the National Cathedral. There was a small church across the street, and they opened their doors for anyone that needed them, I did not go, but I remember they were ringing their bells. I found out the following week that my co-worker had heard from her brother, he hadn’t gone into the office that morning, but they had lost several good friends. I also worked the phones for the big telethon that was put together by AT&T and Capital One among others. That was an odd experience, most of the people I talked to wanted to go back into the queue so they could “get” a celebrity. After the queues were all clear it was around 3 in the morning – there wasn’t an empty Waffle House in the entire city. I remember walking into the house, eating an apple and then just sobbing.

Music has always been very important to me, and I distinctly remember the song that I NEEDED to listen to in the days following the Towers falling was Morning Dew by the Grateful Dead. When I hear that song now, I still remember what I was feeling those mid-September days in 2001. And later this song perfectly encapsulates my feelings about 9/11:

Forsaken

[April 98]

When I have nothing left to feel

When I have nothing left to say

I'll just let this slip away.



I feel these engines power down.

I feel this heart begin to bleed

as I turn this burning page.



Please forgive me if I bleed.

Please forgive me if I breathe.

I have words I need to say.

Oh so very much to say.



And whose life do I lead?

And whose blood do I bleed?

Whose air do I breathe?

With whose skin now do I feel?



I'm supposed to walk away from here.

I'm supposed to walk away from here.



And whose life do I lead?

Whose blood do I bleed?

Whose air do I now breathe?

I'm convinced there's nothing more.



The day you died I lost my way.

The day you died I lost my mind.



What am I supposed to do?

Is there something more?



The engines power down.

Like a soldier to his end I go.

Because I'm convinced

that there is nothing more.



and whose life do I lead

and whose air do I breathe?

With whose skin and whose blood do I feel?



What happens now?

Have I done something wrong?



Forgive my need to bleed right now.

Please forgive my need to breathe

But I've so much to say

and it wouldn't matter anyway.

You're not here to hear these words that I must say

and I'm convinced inside

that there is nothing more.



Whose life do I lead?

Whose air do I breathe.

Whose blood do I now bleed?

With whose skin now do I feel?



I have nothing left to say.

I have nothing left to feel.

Am I supposed to let this go now,

let darkness come and take you away?



© VNV Nation 1998

Well That Was a HOOT!

So any hoo... back to posting over here as blogger doesn't lock up my computer!  More to follow...

Moving!!

you'll wanna go to sosivy.tumblr.com from now on!
whoot whoot

Hello, Filler Time!

My folks were here for an early Christmas visit and we did presents.  Holy Cow! Goosy had SO MUCH fun!! She made sure everyone had gifts to open then rolled around on the ground with her new stuffed animals. And she loves to watch the Nutcracker.  At least until he turns into the handsome prince.  Then she looses all interest.  Also, she hates mice - but LOVES the Mouse King.  That's my girl.

I got my presents from my folks also - the LL Bean Signature pants that I really really wanted and some lovely sweaters.  I also won an eBay auction for a Classic Coach bag - black east/west cross body! Can't wait until it gets here.  Now - the Kate Spade items I want just need to stay in my price range and we'll be all set!

I really need to go and study for my Marketing final this evening... but I really don't wanna.  I am so burned out - and we have a group presentation that has everyone freaking the hell out.  And in some sad news, my uncle Jimmy died last night - don't know of what. Unfortunately it is bound to be related to alcoholism... I don't think he was sober since Judy died about 5 years ago. Makes my father, the oldest sibling the only one still alive. Enter operation Cheer Up Daddy!  I think I shall have to enlist Goosy in the cheering up process.  As she is ALL ABOUT her Grandpa. 

Wow. This got bummer filled pretty fast.  Oh well.  Can't help that now - have to study for my damn final. Perhaps tomorrow I shall post all sunny and bright.

So Over Today

You know the day isn't off go a good start when at 5:30 am you are ready for a do over.  Today has been "one of those days" starting with a let cramp at 2am (so bad that I was awake until 3:45) a toddler that doesn't want to sleep in her bed and a dog that snores so loud the windows rattle.  But.  The worst thing was my workout this morning.... I slipped doing dips.  I still have to use a band for them... and my arms were shaking so badly that ring-dips were out of the question... can you see where this is going?? Yup. Popped myself in the face with the band.  Hard.  Like my vision blacked out and I have a lovely fat upper lip.  And it was just the first round of "Elizabeth" and the big bad 6am crossfitter just wanted to sit in the bathroom and cry.  This following a series of events that have ended up making me feel like I may never get my hair cut again.  I was suppose to get my hair cut and colored Saturday morning... (got a fantastic "happy holidays" discount and everything) not realizing that we are committed elsewhere that morning.  So - for the 4th time this year, i have to cancel my hair appointment. 

I am now going to drink a lot of coffee and feel sorry for myself.  Hopefully I will be over it soon - my folks are coming down for their Holiday visit and I have a lovely picture of snow in Paris to look at on my computer. 

Paleo Challenge - Final

And the winners of the Paleo Challenge: Chris took first and I got second.

Good Lord.

So we did what we jokingly said we would do "if we won" which was take the prize money and get some new equipment for the gym.  And we got some new abmats.  They rock.

Yay us!