France

About three weeks ago (more or less) I was listening to a report on NPR about the health care system in France. After hearing the piece about new mothers and babies (and having just had a baby) I am so jealous of French women! They have access to such excellent care after the baby is born. Now, I don't have many complaints of the prenatal care I received; several of the doctors I saw could have used a refresher course in bedside manner, but overall it was excellent care. (And I still talk about my wonderful midwife Dixie, she is the one that nicked named Freya "piglet".)

I was also jealous of the time that new mothers get in hospitals, I was in the hospital for 3 days, I could have pushed it to 4 if I had wanted, but I was ready to be out of there. Every time the lactation consultant came by, I had either just fed, or it wasn't time yet to feed Freya, resulting in me not getting any real help with breastfeeding until my parents came to visit. Every nurse and doctor gave me conflicting advise regarding breastfeeding, so we just went with what worked for us, which my mother reaffirmed for me. I was actually getting more depressed about being in the hospital than I was freaking out about being at home alone with an infant.

I also liked that part of the report where they discussed home health care. It was almost more than I could manage to get Freya to her first doctor appointment, even with Chris there helping. I wasn't all that prepared for the aftermath of having a baby, with abdominal surgery courtesy of the c-section. I mean, I knew that it wasn't gonna be pretty, this is the only major surgery I have ever had, and I had a very difficult time for as independent as I am. To say that I felt like I was pretty useless is an understatement. I was good for about 3 things: cleaning the baby butt, feeding the baby and sleeping with the baby.

Our pediatrician does not send a doctor to the hospital where I had Freya, so we had an appointment at their office when she was 5 days old. Now, Freya was a big baby, and in the three or four day period that it took for my boob's to come on line and for her to get a full belly from them, she lost about a pound. And boy did they make a huge stink about that! Enough of a stink that I ended up freaking the hell out, and we had to make several trips back to the office for weigh-ins. Looking back now, I get pretty pissed about that, I mean we were just getting the hang of the whole eating thing and they just put so much pressure on the whole eat! eat! eat! that I was needlessly stressed out. Because she gained her birth weight back and then some in the week between appointments. And don't even get me started on pumping...

Where was I??? Oh - Now see if we lived in France, we wouldn't have had to go anywhere! Other than to answer the door when a nurse came to visit with us, in our home. I had pretty much no contact from my OB once I left the hospital, although they may have called once, I'm not sure, those first few weeks are pretty hazy. How nice it would have been, to have someone come to the house and stay long enough to make sure all was going alright. Not only with things like breastfeeding, but also with things like making sure the Mom and Dad are doing alright with the stress of having an infant.

The French, as well as most of the rest of the world, get a huge chunk of (paid) time away from work to be with their new baby. I got a day and a half paid time off. The rest of my 6 week maternity leave was unpaid. Add to that the cost of actually having a baby, even with insurance, it's just staggering. I believe our total came to somewhere around a Honda Accord, fully loaded. I would have loved more time at home with Freya, but I also love my house, and eating, and driving my car. Six weeks is a disgustingly short amount of time really, our country should be ashamed of itself. Parents should not have to make the decision of whether or not to return to work, or if/when both return to work based on financial fear.

So to make a long rather long and disjointed story short - if we decide to have another baby we are totally moving to France.